I’ve recently had an encounter with a thought virus that I was sure had been deleted from the hard drive of my mind. I was dating a guy who had issues with adoptees, due to his first wife being born with foetal alcohol syndrome. The wife had become an alcoholic and he now had the belief that adoptees must be flawed in some way. I am a professional life coach and have done extensive training in letting go of limiting beliefs. Even so, this guy really pushed my buttons. I was immediately overcome by shame, remembering my mother telling me as a child that I might have bad blood because she didn’t know where I’d come from. As I opened my mouth to defend myself as a law abiding citizen who was held in high regard both personally and professionally, I realised what I was doing. I was giving away my power and going back to that girl who had pleased everyone, achieved high marks and got the promotions to prove to the world that I wasn’t a potential axe murderer. Essentially, I was trying to justify my existence.
Who would I have been if I had run with my mother’s story? Someone afraid to have kids in case they turned out bad. A woman scared of success in case anyone could see through my professional veneer to my potentially evil core. I would have kept a very low profile, so I wouldn’t be found out and rejected as unlovable and unacceptable. Luckily for me I have a huge sense of justice and an inquiring mind. And that story just didn’t stand up as being even remotely credible.
I totally rejected that old story. It was never true, and was a construct of my mother’s fear. The true story is much more authentic. I’m a successful self- made women with two beautiful adult children. My mission is to energise, empower and elevate other women, so they can speak and live their truth with joy.
The lesson I learnt is not to hide your light under a bushel, in case it causes someone else to feel inadequate. We are all on our own unique journey, and comparing our journey with someone else’s can be harmful. We are not better or worse than anyone, we are ourselves, with our own set of passions and talents. Beware of people wanting to put you into a small box, and limit you with a label of their own creation, born from a place of fear. Don’t let someone else’s version of your story hold you back from living the life you want. You are amazing, you matter and you are enough!